An S/H Present Tense story that brings Bay City characters into the present.
Posted by CopConfused36 – 3 days ago. Found on reddit by Nicoltyler
Hi, I’m not sure if this is the right place, but I wasn’t sure where else to turn.
Me (M36) and my partner (also M36) are both cops. We’ve been through a lot together over the years, but recently, things have gotten really complicated, and I could use some advice.
About six months ago, my partner was shot in our police parking garage by a really bad guy. He nearly died, and it’s been a long road to recovery. During his recuperation, I’ve been taking care of him, making sure he’s okay physically and emotionally. We’ve grown even closer during this time, but now that he’s about to come back to work, things have gotten tense.
We’ve been arguing a lot lately, especially about him returning to duty. I think it is because I’m terrified of losing him again. The thought of him getting hurt or worse is more than I can handle.
A week ago, we had a massive fight. It was about him coming back to being a cop, and things got really heated. He finally demanded to know why I was so against his return. In the heat of the moment, I blurted out, “Because I love you.” It was like the words just spilled out before I could stop them.
He didn’t say anything immediately, and the silence stretched on. I started to panic and eventually just left. Since then, I’ve been avoiding him. He’s been calling, texting, emailing, and trying to FaceTime, but I haven’t responded. I’m scared he’s going to tell me he wants a new partner, that he doesn’t feel the same way, or even worse, that he wants me out of his life altogether.
To give you more context, my partner and I have always had a deep bond. We trust each other with our lives, and this near-death experience brought us even closer. During his recovery, I realized my feelings for him were more than just friendship. I fell in love with him, in a way that goes beyond just pals. Like wanting to kiss him and spend the rest of my life with him kinda love.
Now, with him coming back to work, I’m scared. I’m scared of losing him to the dangers of the job, and I’m scared of losing him because of my feelings. I don’t know if he feels the same way, and that uncertainty is eating me alive. When I blurted out my confession, I hoped for some sign, any sign, that he might feel the same. But his silence was crushing.
I don’t know what to do. Should I face him and talk it out, risking whatever he might say? Or is it better to keep my distance and wait for him to make the first move? I’m really torn and could use some advice on how to handle this situation.
Thanks in advance for any help.
–CopConfused36
Awww, Hutch. Starsky, you gotta give him a sign…a good one. 🙂
Oh, poor CopConfused36. My heart goes out to him. (Well, both of them) A unique take and beautifully written. This needs to continue! (Please?)
Thank you! XX
@copconfused36 I’m pretty sure all those phone calls, texts, emails, and requests to Facetime mean he is trying to make his move. Don’t you think he would have given up by now if he didn’t want to be with you the way you want to be with him? Answer him! Take a chance on love. Stop being stubborn and over-thinking things.
CopConfused36,
Dear God man, are you daft? Answer the effing phone! The fact that he didn’t immediately punch you in the face speaks volumes. Once you hear him out, you’ll realize you’ve been over thinking this for months, probably years even. You can thank me at your wedding.
Lilibet
“Dear God man, are you daft? ”
Yeah, I am coming to that conclusion. I will certainly thank you if that day ever comes around.
Dear CopConfused36:
Sometimes Reddit welcomes answers from other Reddit readers. I hope you won’t mind if I provide some insight, having been in a similar situation.
Falling in love is easy. Laying the groundwork for a healthy long-term relationship is hard. In my case, I and my future partner were currently married to other people. See! Your situation could be much more complicated. 🙂
In any case, I want to urge you to talk to your partner, but do more listening than talking. Your stance is clear–you are in love. See what he has to say. You might be surprised! But even if the conversation does not play out as you hope, don’t lose all hope. It sounds like your relationship is special, even if romantic love isn’t on the table.
Lastly, just a note for the future: Your writing style is lovely–warm, emotive, clearly presented. If you ever decide to leave the force, you might want to explore a career in writing. Despite the obvious pain you’re in, you were able to express yourself beautifully.
BtW, everything worked out for me and my partner–we’ve been happily together for coming up on 22 years. I wish you the very best of luck with your partner.
KathMoonshine71
Thanks so much, KathMoonshine71, for sharing your experience and advice. It really helps me see things more clearly. I appreciate the reminder to listen and just take things as they come. Your comment about my writing made my day! I get a lot of practice, cuz my partner isn’t the best at writing reports. I’m glad things worked out for you and your partner—it gives me some hope. Congrats on 22 years!
Dearest CopConfused36
The only thing worse than living with fear is living with regret! Push your fears aside and express what you feel in your heart. You might be pleasantly surprised. And don’t worry about what other people think – live your life! It’s not like we’re still in the olden days, like the seventies, or anything. Well, at least for the most part.
Best of luck in life and love 🙂
“The only thing worse than living with fear is living with regret!”
Wow that is really great advice. Thankyou! All the years I’ve known my partner, there have been plenty of “what if’s.”. The whole shooting thing was a a really big one. What if he had died? What if the next time he does or I do? I could go on. It was why I blurted out what I did. I think you are right. I can’t let fear control me.
Dear CopConfused36,
Give it a try!
Kira_Berlin
I am going to.
Aww, such a clever fic idea. Hope it has a happy ending!
Dear CopConfused36,
I agree with all these other brilliant responses; you must answer the phone! You cannot stay in limbo as time marches on. Talk to your partner and hear what they have to say.
Nice twist on a story. Can’t wait to get to (hopefully) part 2
I agree, as well. I promise to pick up the next time he calls.
Seriously, for such a great detective our man is a bit thick in the head when it comes to relationships. He’s found the perfect partner, declared his love, then won’t respond to attempts to contact him from said partner. Go for it!
Well, well. I thought I might find you pouring out your heart to strangers instead of using the brains the good Lord gave you. The last 4 calls are from me. Your better, but not smarter, half thinks he’s chased you off and lost you for good. Said curly idiot can be found sleeping it off upstairs after trying to drown his sorrows. Get you pale ass down here, sober him up and actually *talk* to each other!
PS – Finally! Took you 2 fools long enough!
PPS – and pay your tab!
PPSS – his, too
Huggy,
Well, look who decided to make an appearance with their usual charm and subtlety! I see you’ve been keeping tabs on both of us—though, I gotta say, you know I’m more of a thinker than a talker, but you might be onto something. Thanks for the head’s up on where to find my Partner.
PS – Don’t think I didn’t catch that last bit. Took us long enough, sure, but some things are worth the wait.
PPS – Tab…What Tab Huggy? I think you need to be laying off your inventory there good buddy.
Brilliant piece, Nicol. Everybody is joining in I see. I’ll say that you did a wonderful job with this. Thanks!
This is adorable. I don’t think I’ve ever shipped two people on Reddit before! I think you should go for it. Call him! The cat’s out of the bag now, what have you got to lose? On a more positive note, the fact that he’s trying so hard to contact you is probably a good sign.
I loved this! Unique way to present our guys possibly moving towards romantic love. I especially enjoyed having so many people providing suggestions and the guest appearance of the Bear.
What a fantastic idea!
Thank goodness Huggy knew where to find you and where you can find your partner. Mazel Tov!