Day 7: Sometimes, You Have to See for Yourself by Shell007

It’s my last day off recovering from an injury, and I’ve planned a nice meal for when Starsky comes in after his day at work. Just as I close the fridge, the phone starts to ring. It’s probably Starsky checking up on me, yet again.

“Hutch?” Noises from the hospital scream out over Dobey’s voice.

“Is he okay?”

“His… he’ll be okay.” Dobey’s hesitation caught my attention. “We couldn’t contact you, but he’s better now.”

Better now echoed in my head. “What happened… how bad?”

“He was caught in an explosion and ran back in to rescue a victim. He has a mild concussion, smoke inhalation and some minor second-degree burns,” Dobey explained calmly. “He was a bit confused, but they have agreed to discharge him if someone will be with him for the next 24 hours.”

Overwhelmed, it seemed like there was a time delay on hearing what Dobey had said. The thought of Starsky in danger, going into a burning fire and in the hospital alone, without me, played over in my head.

“Hutch, are you there?” Dobey asked.

“Yeah…” Dobey knew without asking that I would look after my partner.

“He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but the man he saved wouldn’t say that.”

Trust Starsky to run back into a fire. He could have got himself killed. God, I need to see him, hold him, and know he’s okay.

“We’ll be leaving shortly. Hutch, he is okay.” Dobey reassured me, and told me he would bring him to my apartment. “He’s being a bit er-…troublesome. You know how he feels about hospitals, and without you, well you can imagine. I’m sure the staff will be as pleased as he is when we leave.”

A month earlier a bullet meant to take my life had definitely changed it. The moment he held me at the scene, it was like we both realized something had changed. Hell, it was like we both got hit by Cupid’s arrow at the same time. Well, no… I got shot by Jonny Green’s bullet, and hell, he was no Cupid!

Starsky and I had always loved each other, but at what point that had started to change to being in love with each other neither of us knew.

As I sat waiting, I looked at the clock again. It was ridiculous how many times I had looked at the clock in the last ten minutes. I had estimated the journey would take Dobey less than half an hour. But it was going to be the longest half hour of my life.

We had agreed to take the relationship slow. Starsky had joked that if I wasn’t fit enough for work, I wasn’t fit enough for what he had in mind. I didn’t mind. Starsky’s version of kissing it better was on a whole new level. Now it was my last day off and I had plans with my partner for the weekend. Believe me, the anticipation in the last week was becoming almost torturous. That was until I picked up the phone and heard Dobey’s voice and all I could feel was fear of how Starsky was.

I had spent the morning planning a special meal and packing our weekend bags for a getaway. But while I was doing that, Starsky’s life was on the line, and no one could contact me.

I paced my apartment anxiously looking out for Dobey’s car. I really needed to see my partner’s blue eyes, run my fingers through his curly hair, and know he was okay.

Part of me knew he must be okay because the doctor had allowed him to be discharged. But part of me still had that sickening gut feeling that he wasn’t, which I couldn’t shift. That feeling wasn’t going anywhere until I saw him for myself.

Looking out the window, I saw Dobey’s car pull round the corner. I shot out the door and was outside on the sidewalk before Dobey had parked. There was Starsky, slumped in the passenger seat. Seeing him gave some relief, even with his forced smile and bloodshot eyes.

Opening the car door, the smell of smoke from Starsky’s clothes was a brutal reminder of what had happened to him. He climbed slowly out of the car. His careful slow movement told me he was in pain; he lacked all his usual energy. It was only then that I recalled Dobey saying he’d been given painkillers.

“Hey,” Starsky said wearily.

“Take care, Starsky,” Dobey said, giving us a nod. “Keep Edith and me posted. She’ll want to make you some rose hip jelly; she knows you like it.”

“I appreciate the offer but…” As Starsky straightened up, he flinched in pain. “Hutch…”

I must have been oblivious as I supported Starsky standing, as when I next looked up Dobey had left.

“Couldn’t stay out of trouble without me, huh?” Wrapping my arm around his waist, I supported him as we walked.

“All in the line of duty.” As usual with Starsky he had to play it down, but it was his smile that told me more than his words. He was clearly trying his best to hide any pain but there was something else in his eyes, almost relief.

We walked slowly and had to pause several times as harsh coughing bouts hit him.

Once in my apartment, as soon as the door was closed, we both needed to hold each other. Starsky nestled up against my neck. The utmost relief hit me, feeling his breath on my skin. I ran my fingers through his usually soft curls only to find them crispy and scorched by the fire.

Starsky pushed his head back into my hand with a soft sigh. He kissed me, his mouth locked onto mine with such hunger and frenzy. The taste of smoke fueling my need, I almost lost control until he pulled away, catching his breath.

“I’m sorry, you need to rest,” The lump on his head and his burnt hair sent shivers down my spine. “Shower, then bed.”

“In a minute.” His breathing was calming down, but I could hear it was a little wheezy. “You could join me.”

“You’re incorrigible.” I knew if I did, we would get carried away and he clearly needed to rest.

As Starsky walked to the bathroom, I told him to leave the door open.

“What? In case you decide to join me?” He gestured with a half-hearted smile.

Should I stay with him? Make sure he doesn’t slip or fall getting in or out the shower?

Instead, I went into the living room and listened to him showering. After the shower stopped, I heard him brushing his teeth and I propped the pillows up on the bed ready for him.

He came into the bedroom, his movements still a bit sluggish for my liking. Unusual, he had put on pajamas, but I could see the redness of his skin caused by the fire.

“Come to bed with me.” His hoarse voice sounded almost plea-like.

And yes, I joined him in bed, as if anyone could have refused his request. I snuggled up against him, laying gentle kisses on his neck, which I could still feel was burning up even after the cool shower, and gently wrapped my arms round him.

Starsky entwined his fingers with mine and he lifted our hands to his lips. His hot breath felt ludicrously heavenly as he gently kissed the back of my hand.

I purred with delight and relief, but there was an undercurrent of distress from him. I knew I had to stay silent, it was the best way to get him to talk, but the silence was agonizing for me. Thankfully, the waiting tactic worked faster than normal.

“I thought I’d lost you… I couldn’t find you, I…” His voice stopped as his lips kissed my hand. He curled into my hold. “Then you weren’t there when I came to…” I realized that’s what Dobey had meant about him being confused.

“I’m here, babe, it’s okay.”

“The victim wasn’t you. It wasn’t you.” He shuddered. “Then I remembered you weren’t… but it was like I had to see you to believe it.”

“It’s okay.” We curled up together in bed. I could feel the tension in his body. Starsky tried to stifle a cough, but it only caused him to flinch even more. “Is your back bad?”

“It’s fine.” His response said otherwise, but he clearly didn’t want to talk about it.

Now I wished I’d joined him in the shower; at least I would have been able to check his injuries. As he coughed, he released my hands and I pushed the pajama top off his shoulders, and gently kissed his tight muscles. His shoulders were already coming up in bruises, and I wondered what had happened in the fire. I reached out for the bottle of massage oil from the bedside drawer and poured some in my hands. Spreading the oil on his skin, I started to knead some of his tension away.

“Hmm… that’s cold.” Starsky rolled forward, giving me better access to his back.

I leaned down, nudging my nose against his neck and kissing up to his ear. Starsky moaned exquisitely. “Warmer now?” I asked softly.

“Hmmm, yeaaah.” I pushed the pajama top down further. His back was covered with red and purple blotches. I knew he would be suffering for the next few days. Massaging his shoulders, I moved carefully down his arms and felt his tension melting away.

It took a while until his breathing slowed. I continued stroking his shoulders and neck for my own comfort, even after he had drifted off to sleep. Seeing him sleeping peacefully, I finally accepted that he would be okay.

I covered him with the bed throw and softly kissed his forehead. I know it sounds soapy, but I was overcome with a sense of relief, love and pure happiness. The emotion was new to me, but I knew only Starsky would ever make me feel that way. He meant so much to me, more than I’d ever thought anyone could.

In his sleep his hand seemed to search for mine, until I gently clasped it. I knew awake or asleep, we would always be me and thee.